Inspiration can come from anywhere. I picked a new route today and discovered a gem. Someone has created a small town in their yard (see photo). It had a school, a church, even a graveyard. I love finding kitsch in the craziest places.
Discouragement can come anywhere too. My mind has been distracted, racing all day. I have been two steps behind. On my walk, Ryan Adam's Starting to Hurt came on. That just exasperated everything.
What if I can't finish?
What if I have to walk, or skip an obstacle?
What will people think of this fat chick?
On and on and on.
I pressed on and finished my walk, but I didn't enjoy myself. I kept wishing I was home.
Sitting here now I'm pissed off. I have treated my body like shit for years. YEARS! I came close to needing a liver biopsy at 37. Years of gout have eaten away at my left toe joint, which will more than likely need reconstructive surgery.
Did I deserve any of that? No, but I earned it. Just like I have earned the right to do this race, to walk if I need to and skip obstacles if I need to. Fuck anyone who tells me or judges me otherwise. This includes my inner discourager.
So I take your depressing Ryan Adams song and raise you a single lyric from it that I will cling to.
Take your tomorrow, pain and your sorrow and teach it how to fly.
