Lyme is Your Color

April 26, 2015 - Experienced an almost immediate onset of pain throughout the body. Mouth and head were numb with tingling sensation traveling up my neck and branching out throughout my skull. I experienced uncontrollable shaking which led to additional pain.

Summer, 2015 - Participated in a series of tests and food elimination practices with a pain specialist. Test results were within normal range. It was determined that food was not attributed to any episodes. Numbness in mouth continued. Sore joints subsided.

Late Summer / Fall, 2015 - Experienced debilitating dizzy spells. When not controlled, it would result in uncontrollable twitching and full body pain the next day. By adopting calming practices used for non-epileptic seizures, I was able to stop the 'attacks' before they started. Numbness in mouth continued. Bumping into things would result in inflamed areas on my upper body (extreme reaction for a small bump).

November, 2015 - Joint pain continued. Dizzy spells increased. Had a huge shaking attack on November 18 that affected my entire body, even my ability to control my voice (aka uncontrollable grunting). Numbness and tingling in the mouth remained. Uncontrollable itching of the upper body. Joint pain throughout. Twitching kept at bay with constant mental concentration. Increase in floaters in my eyes. Hearing limited, voices muffled. Extreme, immediate exhaustion, mind foggy. Burning sensations randomly on my body which felt like a hot poker or acid.

December 2015 - After attempting to manage it all on my own, as I assumed it was in my head, I finally waved the white flag and returned to my family doctor. Though he was appreciated what the pain specialist had ruled out, he was not satisfied with all of them. So he ran a CD57. It came back positive.

January - June 2016 - Before I could move forward with immediately antibiotic treatment, he had to get my immune system back. Multiple sleep tests and a CPAP later, I sleep like a baby. Then he changed my 'happy pill' so I could get more emotionally balanced. Add a smile to that sleep.

June 29, 2016 - Began a four-week antibiotic challenge then took the Igenex low-level blood test.

July 27, 2016 - Boxed up my blood and dropped it in the FedEx bin (that was weird).

September 13, 2016 - Doctor made the diagnosis official: Chronic Lyme Disease

September 15, 2016 - I knew this was coming. I knew something other that my imagination was causing all of this. And yet, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As much as I wanted an answer (as long as others have to wait for an answer. Think years), I want to bury the news under my bed and pretend like it never happened.

I'll power through and the next post will be filled with rainbows and unicorns. But today, I mentally rock in a corner.

I'm sorry

I am sorry for being so quiet lately. I've been facing a lot of battles as of late, many of which I have created myself. I allowed a diagnosis to dictate who I am as a person. I have let Lyme disease tell me what I can and cannot do.

But today I did something that has always given me pleasure. I walked in a 5K.

And I feel amazing!

And I realized not a single thing can stop me from me becoming the healthy me I want to be.

I am back with a vengeance, baby! It won't be pretty and it won't be safe for network TV, but I am ready!

I Still Have Crushes

These aren't the crushes we had in middle school 

But those were awesome, weren’t they? Passing notes, claiming you’re dating then break up, all without even talking to the person in question).

My crushes really fall under the adoration category:

My woman’s group – Its name and members will continue to remain anonymous. But these ladies are the best group I’ve ever been a part of. They embrace everyone unconditionally, they define the correct way to support your fellow females, and they are FUNNY!

Many of my female friendships have been based on cattiness. I remember a time I would judge everyone’s actions. I had one particular friend who would insult me and put me down constantly. She taught me to do the same to others. I can now step back and see how insecure that person was. I can also see how wrong it was to cast people aside without a second thought or possibly consider them as a part and potential impact on my life (BTW, I set that chick free. If you have someone in your life who makes you feel like sh*t, I suggest you do the same).

Brook Kreder – Holy crap is this chick awesome. Not because she is in fantastic shape, but because she celebrates every achievement she and others have. She has her own group, the Sole Sisters, who hold each other up when challenging themselves to complete Iron Mans, Marathons, even 5K. My bestie Trena is a part of that group (Trena is a whole other crush, but I’ve celebrated her already here. She also has an eBook that is pretty awesome).

I get Brook’s weekly emails. Every time I find something that inspires me or touches my heart. But the last two have been particularly moving. The first one was titled WHO YOU ARE IS ALREADY ENOUGH. An excerpt:

You see, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter how far you can run, bike, swim or row…

… it doesn’t matter how strong you are, how much you weigh or don’t, how committed you are, how much you want and/or train for your goal… 

… you are already enough. Just as you are. Is having a big, crazy, scary, holy wow goal sexy? Yes, it’s very sexy.But it doesn’t make you who you are at your core.Because at your core…

You are already strong.

Tenacious.
Courageous.
Tough.
Smart.
Funny.
Brilliant.
Sassy.
Gorgeous.
Amazing.
Powerful. 

Exactly as you are. 

Powerful, right?

This week’s email TOTALLY BUSTED was a slap on the ass and a yeehaw!

In reference to an article in O Magazine:

There are so many areas in my life where I have departed from my truth. I have offered a fake smile. (Or a dozen in the last week – ugh!). I have taken on client work I didn’t want. I have said yes to a goal, a finish line and a training cycle that didn’t feel good to me. I have allowed others to steal my joy, suck my energy or step on my feelings. (All while keeping my mouth shut!) 

Then I wondered, “What would it be like to do what’s true for us (me + you) in every situation?”

Who would we let go of? What would we shout, “Hell yes!” to? Where would we go? Who would we love? What would we STOP doing? What would we no longer allow? Would we train for that mega race? Change jobs? Get married? Ditch a bad habit?

I can’t answer any of these questions for you. But here’s what I decided for myself:

I’m spending the entire month of September doing an integrity cleanse. 

That means no more bull sh*t. No more keeping my wants, needs or thoughts to myself. No more fake smiles. No more friends on FB that trigger my crazy. No more work I don’t enjoy. (Well, within reason.) Only races and training cycles I want to take on. Only people I love and can’t wait to spend time with.(The list goes on, you catch my drift.)

Now here’s the cool part…

I’m inviting you to do the integrity cleanse with me.

Let’s spend the next 28 days [together] doing what’s true for us in ALL situations. Training, work, marriage, relationships, money,commitments…

… e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

Because at the end of the day… is there really any other way to live?

I’m taking the challenge. Will you join me? Go to Brook’sFacebook page, like it (if you haven’t already reading my first paragraph about her) and post the hashtag #integritycleanse.Join her in this revolution of self!

Also, find your sole (shoe), soul (inner being) or sole (fish – no judgement here!) sisters and power onward. Life is too short for bullsh*t. 

Comfort while exercising AND a discount? No way!

Yes way!

 Here is the lowdown on Katie K Active, borrowed from their website. 

I'm wearing the Signature Walking Pants
and the Signature Racer Back.

Katie’s definition of brave is being the best you, you can be. Brave also comes in all shapes and sizes. Katie’s determination and hard work has definitely defined brave in her own life and, Katie’s goal is to help all women define brave in their lives as well.

Katie found that all women want to define their own brave. And that brave includes taking control of their health. She believes all women deserve exercise clothes that fit and are easy to move around in. We have all done the uniboob or the quad boob. We have all worn the bicycle pants that rolled up our calves and down our thighs. Don't make me tell you the underwear story again.

Clothing aside this company is amazing. And full of girl power. But the pluses don't stop there (see what I did there?). 

I'm wearing the Signature Walking Pants
and the Free Flow Cardigan.

Boy howdy the clothing! Not only does it fit perfectly and keep you cool, several of the pieces are completely wearable everyday, exercise or not. I have multiple compliments on my pants alone. So here's the skinny on my 'fat' exercise wear (I did it again).

Look at the picture above left. I look amazing! This is AFTER a workout. And yes, I do live at a lake. Be jealous. Now look at the picture to the right. I look amazing! This is HALF WAY THROUGH the work day. And yes, I do get to wear flip flops to work. Be jealous.

The pants have built-in draw cords to turn them into capris. The drawstring inside can only be described as an infinity drawstring. It's a single flowing cord that is impossible to lose inside the pants. The shirt is cut perfectly for my shape. It accommodates my hips and chest while not being too loose. Best part? The cut also prevents arm and side boob chaffing. And the cardigan is simply snuggly. Long sleeves, flowing, and easy to tie around the waste if it becomes too warm on your walks.

I'm hear to tell you these close are worth the investment. I'm not one to push products. But I will push this one till the cows come home. If I could marry a clothing line, this would be my soul mate.

And guess what? You can have these clothes too. For a limited time you can get 40% off PLUS free shipping. Just go to the website, pick out your clothes, then use the promo code KATEY40 when you check out and the savings is yours.

Trust me. You are worth the investment. Let's get this!

Climb the Mountain

Sherpas are flipping awesome! They go up and down Mount Everest so many times in their lives. And its no big thing. I look at that mountain and think 'Oh hell no!' and scurry back to my tent.

Well I can't ignore the mountain anymore. It has erupted.

For three weeks now, I've had unexplained nerve and muscle pain, tingling, numbness and burning joints throughout my body. Did I mention the twitching? Constant, random muscle twitches.

After 32 vials of blood, three poops in a bucket and storing a collection of my pee in the fridge, I thought I would get a diagnosis today.

I did not.

There in the doctor's office I had the mother of all pity parties. I was pushing back on doctor recommendation because of cost and the time involved. And he said this:

"Here's the thing, Katherine. Right now you are at the bottom of the mountain. You can't see the top. But we can. Let us help you up that mountain."

He was right. I've been doing a great job of climbing the mountain on my own, sticking to the plan. But I am now in a terrain I've never been before. And I can't do it alone.

So I got me some sherpas. Let's do this!

War Wounds

I have a confession. Well, not really a confession but more of an admission.

I made a poor underwear choice for my first half marathon.

My husband calls them my war-torn panties. The particular panties in question are long gone, but we all have our favorite underwear. Liz Phair even wrote a song about it (sort of). So of course I thought those panties would be perfect for 13.1 miles. WRONG!

Into mile three they had settled half way up my rump. By mile four I couldn't feel anything below the waste, so no harm no foul. I crossed the finish line and headed to a friends to clean up.

They became attached. They melded with my body, becoming one with the soft tissue of my butt. And I couldn't pull them off. Like waxing your bikini very, VERY slowly. I finally hopped into the shower, underwear and all and finally peeled them off. I was left with two bleeding, racing stripes on my tuckus. I derriere looked liked a regulation major league baseball.

Best part? I had my yearly visit two days later and had to explain to my male doctor why I had huge scabs on my ass.

So why talk about this now? Because your exercise gear is as important as the exercise itself. The wrong choice in clothing can completely derail you. I have worn my fair share of Walmart brand exercise clothes and have the chafing scars to prove it.

Peekaboo! Don't hints that mean nothing to you aggravate you?

But a new addition to my blogging family has turned that around. I am beyond excited to share this partnership, but I have to wait for the mail to arrive. Squeeeeee!!!

This is a partnership that benefits you as well. Stay tuned, people.

up... UP... AND AWAY!

When my brothers and I were little, my mother would safety pin towels around our necks (Yes, a real safety pin close to a five-year-olds neck). We would then swoop through the house, pretending to be Superman.

I miss that cape. I miss that moment in time. There was no pain, no anxiety, no helplessness: just the ability to fly.

Ten days of unexplained pain. Ten days of flames shooting throughout my body. Ten days of Kill Bill quoting (Wiggle your big toe!). Ten days of twitching and burning at the slightest touch.

I swear by my bad-a$$ery all the time. But it is nothing compared to the countless people who live like this for years. Who battle cancer and incurable disease. It’s time to prove myself. Appointment with a pain specialist this afternoon.

I really need a cape now, even if it is a pretend one.