Here is how it works. You wake up and immediately drink the fiber drink (FD), take the catalyst pills (CP) (optional but they come highly recommended) the fish oil pill (FOP) and drink an energy drink (ED). Mine is caffeine free, as my body hates high levels of caffeine. I'm like a menopausal woman in Mexico in July.
You repeat the CP and ED a half hour before lunch. At dinner, you take a FOP. Right before bed, you take three of the largest f****** pills you've ever seen. These are your cleanse pills (C*P). You get three meals and two snacks. You are allowed lean protein, select fruits and veggies and approved fats at specific times of the day. I understand not allowing refined grains, sugar and dairy, but no mushrooms? Seriously? That, my friends, might be the death of me.
Day One: Rollercoaster
Glad I'm a fan of Cream O' Wheat or there would be no way I could get through the FD. The ED was tasty. Did a chocolate meal replacement shake 40 minutes later.
Starving at 10 am, but ate my blueberries and sunbutter slowly. And pooped. A lot. Had my CP and ED an hour (should be half hour) before I ate my protein, veggie and carb.
Had my fruit and fat at 3 then was hit with a migraine. Drove my 40 minutes home, nearly yacking. Cllimbed into bed and slept on and off while my daughter kept me company and watched Doozers. Put her to bed, took my FP chased with dinner. Took my C*P and went to bed.
Day Two: Another rollercoaster, but no derailment (see what I did there, Six Flags?)
Same routine. About a half hour after the morning pills and drinks I got an insane dizzy spell and my head and mouth started to feel sparkly. Kept running the soundtrack of Hair in my head. Slammed my shake and ate a hard boiled egg then I was good.
Rest of the day went without issue. Oh yeah, I pooped. A lot.
Had to get a meal on the go for dinner as I was getting my hair did. Jimmy John's Tom Turkey unwrap with oil. Best. Sandwich. Ever. Came home with platinum and purple on my head and a very crabby tummy. Ate some shrimp and an avocado. Tummy happy. Pills and bed. In fact, I'm typing this on my phone and burping fish oil all while lying in bed.
First impression: It's a lot gentler than other cleanses. Yes, there is a lot of pooping. A lot. But is isn't violent and even comes citrus scented. It appeared the migraine was just bad timing. I keep smelling odd odors coming from my body. Detoxing at its finest.
Lessons: Be flexible with this plan. Not in the food you eat, but with the time and quantity.
Laughing my @$$ off right now! The though of cleanses and citrus poop is hilarious (okay so I'm a 4th grader at heart)
ReplyDeleteJust a tip--put your fish oil in the fridge. Results= less burping, no fishy aftertaste and really the cold capsule is so much easier to swallow!