Climb the Mountain

Sherpas are flipping awesome! They go up and down Mount Everest so many times in their lives. And its no big thing. I look at that mountain and think 'Oh hell no!' and scurry back to my tent.

Well I can't ignore the mountain anymore. It has erupted.

For three weeks now, I've had unexplained nerve and muscle pain, tingling, numbness and burning joints throughout my body. Did I mention the twitching? Constant, random muscle twitches.

After 32 vials of blood, three poops in a bucket and storing a collection of my pee in the fridge, I thought I would get a diagnosis today.

I did not.

There in the doctor's office I had the mother of all pity parties. I was pushing back on doctor recommendation because of cost and the time involved. And he said this:

"Here's the thing, Katherine. Right now you are at the bottom of the mountain. You can't see the top. But we can. Let us help you up that mountain."

He was right. I've been doing a great job of climbing the mountain on my own, sticking to the plan. But I am now in a terrain I've never been before. And I can't do it alone.

So I got me some sherpas. Let's do this!

War Wounds

I have a confession. Well, not really a confession but more of an admission.

I made a poor underwear choice for my first half marathon.

My husband calls them my war-torn panties. The particular panties in question are long gone, but we all have our favorite underwear. Liz Phair even wrote a song about it (sort of). So of course I thought those panties would be perfect for 13.1 miles. WRONG!

Into mile three they had settled half way up my rump. By mile four I couldn't feel anything below the waste, so no harm no foul. I crossed the finish line and headed to a friends to clean up.

They became attached. They melded with my body, becoming one with the soft tissue of my butt. And I couldn't pull them off. Like waxing your bikini very, VERY slowly. I finally hopped into the shower, underwear and all and finally peeled them off. I was left with two bleeding, racing stripes on my tuckus. I derriere looked liked a regulation major league baseball.

Best part? I had my yearly visit two days later and had to explain to my male doctor why I had huge scabs on my ass.

So why talk about this now? Because your exercise gear is as important as the exercise itself. The wrong choice in clothing can completely derail you. I have worn my fair share of Walmart brand exercise clothes and have the chafing scars to prove it.

Peekaboo! Don't hints that mean nothing to you aggravate you?

But a new addition to my blogging family has turned that around. I am beyond excited to share this partnership, but I have to wait for the mail to arrive. Squeeeeee!!!

This is a partnership that benefits you as well. Stay tuned, people.

up... UP... AND AWAY!

When my brothers and I were little, my mother would safety pin towels around our necks (Yes, a real safety pin close to a five-year-olds neck). We would then swoop through the house, pretending to be Superman.

I miss that cape. I miss that moment in time. There was no pain, no anxiety, no helplessness: just the ability to fly.

Ten days of unexplained pain. Ten days of flames shooting throughout my body. Ten days of Kill Bill quoting (Wiggle your big toe!). Ten days of twitching and burning at the slightest touch.

I swear by my bad-a$$ery all the time. But it is nothing compared to the countless people who live like this for years. Who battle cancer and incurable disease. It’s time to prove myself. Appointment with a pain specialist this afternoon.

I really need a cape now, even if it is a pretend one.

I Can Hear You

Junior year, size 13.
Yes, I thought I was fat. 

I have struggled with my weight for more than half my life. I remember my first Weight Watcher meeting in 7th grade. After I weighed in for the first time, the woman said, "Oh, you're a lot heavier than I thought". What's funny is I wasn't even overweight. Yeah, a woman said that to a 13 year old girl. 

I am always searching out female power houses. The woman who wrote the blog The "After" Myth is one of these women. Thank you, Vanessa, for sharing this with me. This woman battled and won over her weight. But it didn't come will 100% happiness, as most expect. She still is trying to find herself. She is brave as hell for putting it all out there. I am so grateful I have another badass to inspire me. 

"Every day I'm shuffling."

I have spent too much time focused on the wrong things. Years have been wasted on fad diets and radical exercise plans to achieve one thing: a lower number on the scale. We need to take the focus off of the weight coming off and focus on why the weight was put on in the first place. 

The best decision I ever made was to go to therapy to resolve my issues. And to the doctor to get my health in order. I have made such progress and am loving my journey. Diagnosed with PCOS in March and now conquering a whole new bag of WTF health issues, I am still pushing and thankful for my battles and my successes. I'm stronger than I've ever been. Food no longer controls me. It just is. If I'm 'fat' the rest of my life, so be it. My goal is health: mental, physical and emotional. 

Next time you tell someone they look so good, that they must be so much better without the weight. Next time you give them permission to hate who they were, remember they are still the same person. They just have different skin on.