I Can Hear You

Junior year, size 13.
Yes, I thought I was fat. 

I have struggled with my weight for more than half my life. I remember my first Weight Watcher meeting in 7th grade. After I weighed in for the first time, the woman said, "Oh, you're a lot heavier than I thought". What's funny is I wasn't even overweight. Yeah, a woman said that to a 13 year old girl. 

I am always searching out female power houses. The woman who wrote the blog The "After" Myth is one of these women. Thank you, Vanessa, for sharing this with me. This woman battled and won over her weight. But it didn't come will 100% happiness, as most expect. She still is trying to find herself. She is brave as hell for putting it all out there. I am so grateful I have another badass to inspire me. 

"Every day I'm shuffling."

I have spent too much time focused on the wrong things. Years have been wasted on fad diets and radical exercise plans to achieve one thing: a lower number on the scale. We need to take the focus off of the weight coming off and focus on why the weight was put on in the first place. 

The best decision I ever made was to go to therapy to resolve my issues. And to the doctor to get my health in order. I have made such progress and am loving my journey. Diagnosed with PCOS in March and now conquering a whole new bag of WTF health issues, I am still pushing and thankful for my battles and my successes. I'm stronger than I've ever been. Food no longer controls me. It just is. If I'm 'fat' the rest of my life, so be it. My goal is health: mental, physical and emotional. 

Next time you tell someone they look so good, that they must be so much better without the weight. Next time you give them permission to hate who they were, remember they are still the same person. They just have different skin on.